01 February 2011

Who Thought A Book Could Save Me Besides the Bible?

Laura, I will NEVER be able to thank you enough for turning me on to this book!!!

I checked it out of our public library but have to have my own copy!

Basically, it is a book with reference to the Bible on how to set personal boundaries and basically how not to be a doormat to your friends, family or employer.

I've even shared it with my youngest because of her mentally abusive sister.

I feel like the bondage chains that my dad put on me have been broken free.

How I wish I had known about this book in my younger days.

Oh well, life begins anew every moment.

I wish I could afford to buy and send each of you this book.  Even if you think you don't have any boundar problems, you need to read it.

I had made myself do a lot of things because I thought it was being Christian to do so.  I never said the word no if anyone needed me for anything.

But in actuality, I was being an enabler to those who tried to use me to run their lives so they didn't have to do what they needed to do, specifically my daughters.

I have become empowered and I can say NO with empathy quicker than you can spit.



I've lost the guilt of saying no.  I apparently hated myself to be such a doormat over the years.

But the doormat has left the building.

Now I'm anxiously waiting for the book KimD tells me is a MUST READ called Motherless Daughters.

In the meantime I ordered and received about 10 Chicken Soup for the Soul books from the library including Christian Women, Cancer Dealing and Surviving, Chronic Illness, etc. and I'm reading as fast as I can.

And at KimD's recommendation, I am also watching the first DVD for the show American Dreams this afternoon.

And got hooked into 2 TV shows---Harry's Law and Blue Bloods.

And waiting for the "winter storm of the century" according to our weather people.  So far we just have ice.  I mean, I really don't want to lose power but don't hype it up for nearly a week and then get it wrong.  I'm prepared to do weather battle!

And yes, I am vacillating between MSNBC and CNN on news of Egypt and Michael.  He was able to get a call off to me on Sunday and being a history major, he is getting off on being there when all this history is being made.

Me, not so much.

Snail mail and all Internet has been shut off and Michael was able to call me from a pay phone in the sector(he's out in the field for 2 more weeks at least) when the main post got calling cards out to them.  So please keep these 440 soldiers from the 2/123 Field Artillery Army unit from Illinois in your prayers.

I'm still BELIEVING.

You believe with me, too~OK?

Love to all.



Mumsy, Chancy and Company said...

Oh, sweet Ness you have been enjoying lots of reading. Sure glad you were able to talk to Michael. Hubby and I really like Harry's Law too, we haven't seen Blue Bloods though. Keep feeling better and enjoying being able to say "no". Hugs

Laura~peach~ said...

my sister has informed me that there is a work book to go with the book and now i must have it too.... thank you we will do this TOGETHER as it takes a village to fix us adults :) love you heaps.

Alice said...

I'm so glad to read this, Ness. This is the STRONG WONDERFUL woman I know! This made me smile. :)

I things are going OK otherwise. Sending lots of prayers!!

LauraX said...

Ness, I am sorry I've not been by in a while too...just in my own little cocoon...I will hold your son in my prayers for safety...and YES to NO...good for you...every moment is indeed an opportunity to begin again...and then seems to me that life is all about the return to beginning, not arriving at an end point.

gentle steps

Debbie Jean said...

Of course I am believing with you. I am your believing best buddy!!! Michael will be OK and home to you soon. You know why? Cause we BELIEVE our prayers will be answered!!

I will have to read that book. Sounds like a book, I need to read.

We have loads of ice here too. I would sure rather have snow than ice, of course, I would rather have warm temps and sunshine!!

I love you Ness and Roger. Stay safe and well, please!!!

God Bless~
Debbie Jean

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

I am going to have to get a copy too, just to see what it says since it influenced someone I admire a great deal!!!

I fortunately learned the art of NO a long time ago, but women are trained from birth to give in. Looking forward to reading this to see if maybe there are more "diplomatic" ways to say no than I have been using (I'm not so diplomatic sometimes!)

The other book sounds wonderful too!

You and your family and your son are in my prayers. Hoping the US stays out of the frying pan this time!

I-44 here in SW Missouri is closed from Springfield west to Oklahoma (I'm halfway inbetween) we have about five foot high drifts of snow which is unusual down here. Whiteout conditions most of the day due to wind. A little ice but mostly snow - they don't know how to handle it or don't have the equipment - I grew up where this was just a snow shower! some nice neighbor just snowplowed the road and all our driveways!

Thinking of you Ness and NO I don't think you are going to back down off those NO's!!! Woo Hoo!!!

jojo said...

If I can find my copy of motherless-daughters I will send it out to you...I haven't read it in years but it was powerful. Now, I really must get this book you and Peach have raved so much

Debra W said...

I am very proud of you, dear Nesie. VERY proud. I have done so much boundary work over the past several years and it has done me a world of good. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with being Christian, Jewish or Buddhist. I think that some of us just allow others to tromp all over us until it hurts.(physically, emotionally and spiritually) Hence the reason that so many of us who have boundary issues come down with so many physical ailments. Our bodies are SCREAMING to be heard and noticed and respected. I will say nothing personal here, but you know that I know a bit about the dynamics and they cannot be allowed to continue. It is hard as hell to stick to the lines we draw in the sand, but stick we must. And if we back track every now and then, we can always reestablish.

When I get a moment, I will try to dig through my books to find some on boundaries. I know that I have several if I haven't loaned them out. I will send them to you if I can find them.

I am praying for Michael and his troops. I mentioned it to Mark tonight, and he said to tell you that Michael is safer in Egypt than in Afghanistan. He doesn't believe that anyone in Egypt is dumb enough to take on the US military. I know that what is going on is very scary for a mom, but I kind of agree with Michael. He is participating in history. Very cool. God Speed to our boy!

Please take good care of yourself and say warm and safe in the oncoming storm. I do feel very blessed to live where I do especially coming from NY! Why do you think we moved;)?

Love and hugs,

Paxie said...

No. I said it yesterday when I was thinking about buying this book. Only because I was watching pennies. Now I can tell it is WORTH every penny just from your words.

I love Blue Bloods. I'll need to get busy and catch up on the other stuff.

I do believe Michael will be fine and home soon. ((Hugs))

Excellent post Ness! :)

TonjiaT said...

Count me in! I am right there next to you, Believing.

It sounds like this is a book that everyone should read. I have a friend who would benefit from it, I will suggest it to her. She just had to evict her two grown children (long story).

Anyway, I am so happy to hear your upbeat post and the excitement in your writing today. Stay warm, and enjoy your week!

Jennifer @lifecraftsandwhatever said...

Thanks for sharing your book recommendation! I did check the link on my quote, and you're right, it wasn't working. I fixed it now. I used to live in Belleville at SAFB, and we have a long haired miniature dachshund. I got him when I was stationed in Japan, and flew him back with me.

chasity said...

oh how wonderful to find something that can help you make such positive changes in your life.

i'm very happy for you.

LauraX said...

thinking about you today Ness...wishing you wellness and peace.