30 December 2009

Step Back-Stay The Same-Step Forward

Well, Christmas 2009 is in the past...

Despite all good intentions, I did not take one.single.picture.

I was preparing for Christmas since Thanksgiving.

Got the cookies baked and frozen in preparation for Christmas Eve.

Made up the menus for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

Even made up the grocery lists well in advance.

The girls came in on Wednesday afternoon with our 2 granddogs.

Kathy and Bobby came in on Christmas morning.

Kathy and Bobby left the next day to see Carter, Cade and Chase.

The girls and Michael all left Monday afternoon to deal with the pieces of their dad who was served with order of protection papers and will be in court for a divorce in 3 weeks. I wish I could say he had an equal sparring partner but she doesn't have 2 brain cells to rub together AND she's using the lawyer I used for Bill and mine's divorce 16 years earlier.

So that left me with a husband, 2 dogs and the feeling, "Where were you Christmas?"

Did you just blow on through?

I spent a lot of time preparing my house, my family and my heart for you.

Of course, not getting to go to Midnight Mass was a downer but the cinnamon rolls were in their last rise and if we left them then to go to Mass, they wouldn't be any good for Christmas morning breakfast which is a tradition.

So I feel now I am stuck between 2 force feels.... Christmas 2009 wants to hang on to me and New Year 2010 is calling my name.

And apparently calling a "time out" isn't in the cards.

We leave the tree up until Epiphany, Amen.

However, I loved-loved-LOVED my Advent Journey. The things I did to make room for the bsbe in my heart were holy to me. Soldiers weren't forgotten and had Christmas cards, the Salvation Army got my dollar(sorry it couldn't have been more) and kindness eluded from my being. Although it should every other day of the year, it is so easy to feel peace on earth, good will towards men during Advent.

I have experienced some amazing walks with my husband. We take it slow and change up the path daily, sometimes with dogs, sometimes not. I consider it making memories.

That's what I want to do in 2010...make more memories.

I haven't come up with the plan yet but I know that each day will be celebrated, daily walks will be primo and I'm going to stretch outside of the box and do things I never thought I could. I started on that during Christmas proving to myself that I could roll out cookie dough and cut out cookies and ice them all by myself and didn't have to let Roger do it because I was afraid they would not be *perfect* if I did them...

I want to go to Georgia this year and meet the Southern Friends of Laura, Steph, Katie, Alice and 2 little babes named Bradley and Austin.

And I have to get to California because I have a date with Deb to walk on her beach and soak up her serenity that I so deeply need.

In essence, make memories.

And I have purposed to blog EVERY DAY with whatever randomness is in my mind because that is me. A blog entry doesn't have to be planned out or rehearsed. Some days the subjects come easier than others but some days I just have to let my heart and mind speak.

Enjoy the rest of your 2009 and I will see you on 01/01/2010.

I love you all---know that and know that deep!

You are the touchstones of my life.


WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Luv the music!!! Sounds like you had a joyous Christmas. Looking forward to your adventures in 2010!

Tonjia said...

I like the idea of making memories in 2010...

Happy New Year Ness!

AirmanMom said...

Love. This. Post.
It sounds as though your heart was indeed filled with the reason for the season.
And so now we welcome a new year. A new chapter to open and write.
I look forward to reading your words daily. It seems as though so many of us bloggers have become FBusers...and have let our gift of writing and sharing fade away.
May Twenty-Ten richly bless you and your family.