22 July 2010

And now a word from CJ's Grammie

Roger, Kiereney and I had the pleasure of having breakfast with CJ's Grammie on Saturday morning before traveling up to see Hallie and Kimmy.  Grammie came bearing gifts of things she wanted me to send to Michael "a little at a time" and a book and a Yankee candle for me.  It was if I had known her forever.  We talked of CJ and how much she missed him and she asked me, since she does not have a blog, if I would mind posting something for her she wanted to share.

Here's Grammie!


Sometime ago, my tech-saavy Grandson, CJ, set his Grammie up on Facebook. Despite my protestations of “Why do I need that?” and “I have absolutely no idea how to use it”, up went my page. (I must admit though, that I loved the fact that he listed my birth date as 1963!) And there my page sat unused for weeks and weeks…until mid-April when I discovered how important Facebook could be.

For two decades, I have been blessed to be CJ’s grandmother. From the day he was born, I knew he was a magical addition to our family. Losing him so abruptly and tragically has shattered my heart, my family, life as we’ve known it and how it will be. CJ’s beautiful, bright light should never have gone out in just 20 years.

I’ve been helpless to soften the grief of my daughter, son-in-law or wonderful grandson, Connor – CJ’s brother. I couldn’t call friends or co-workers and faced each day with shock and pain, barely able to function. Until one evening a few days after CJ’s death, when I accidentally clicked on my Facebook page. There in front of me were postings from more than 30 addresses from all over the country…1 or 2 who knew me, but most who did not. The Facebook words of comfort, prayers, poems and so much more continued day after day…night after night. When I couldn’t sleep, there was always someone to write to me or hear my words – even “instantly” once I could finally figure out how to fumble back an answer to “Are you there? Are you there?”

The words “thank you” say so very little about how I feel about my Facebook friends. The time that you each have taken from your own busy and challenged lives to help this very sad Grammie get through has been the most wonderful gift. Plus, the inspirational support you gave to Hallie & John, Connor, Danielle and other family members has been beyond words. I honestly do not know what we would have done without you. Please know that we are a forever changed family thanks to your Facebook kindness!

Throughout my life, I have tried to “pay it forward” whenever possible and I can honestly say that I have received way more than I have ever given. Because I have no list of names to work with, I’ve asked Ness to post this note of thanks. Although it is a mass mailing of sorts, it holds a special Facebook hug from me to each one of you individually…with a reminder that I will always be there for you if you need me. Bless you all…and please keep CJ’s memory close to your heart.

Now if Grammie can master Facebook, I think she can easily handle a blog and we need to encourage her to do so.  It has been an outlet for me to get my feelings out and I have met the sweetest friends on here.

Go Grammie!  Go Grammie!  Go Grammie!

Blogspot will walk you through setting it up.  You will be so glad you did!

Stay tuned for the squeals that went around the Northeast when I met up with the Twomeys and the Marcottes in my next post.


And have hope, because it gets you through the moments.

And the only fear we have to fear is fear itself.  When we are blessed with friends and family, they are always there to hold our hand as we move to the next step.

Live each day to the fullest.  Do something you've been wanting to do(like travel and meet Grammie and Hallie and Kimmy!) and DON'T put it off.  We're going to Atlanta in October so Katie, Steph, Laura and Alice, get ready! 

I talk to CJ every night when I go outside and look up at the sky.  His star is always the brightest because he has the biggest smile in Heaven. 

Love from a very blessed Ness.


WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

What a sweet spirit to thank others when her own grief is overwhelming. Grammie should get her own blog! Thanks for the post.

Alice said...

I love Grammie's letter. Just beautiful.

And I love you, Ness. Get your butts down here soon!! xoxo

PS - your friend request scared Ervin the other day! He thought some dude was in love with me!!!(hahahahahhahaha) Love it. :)

Mumsy said...

What a sweet message from Grammie. I hope she does start a blog here. Keep talking to C.J. I know that helps. Bless you all! Hugs

Tonjia said...

I am completely moved by her honesty and the love in her heart. Thank you so much for posting this Ness. I am so glad that you got to visit the Twomeys!

Debbie said...

Wonderful words from Grammie :)

I'm thrilled you got to go to Maine, Ness and finally hug Hallie and her family!

Not Your Average Girl said...

Thank you Ness for posting this, and thank you Grammie for including me, I also wish to say thank you to everyone who has supported us through these difficult times