This is Dr. X's office...may I speak to Vanessa?
This is Nurse Ratchet. Your blood work came back and your fasting blood sugar was 207, you A1c was 8.1 and your cholesterol was 219. I just called in meds for your blood sugar and your cholesterol.
I said, "Wait a minute! My father's side has EXCELLENT cholesterol. I have ALWAYS been the poster child for perfect GOOD and BAD cholesterol readings and have ALWAYS been in the low 140 range."
"Well, sweetie, your ship went back out to sea."
"I have DIABETES TYPE 2?"
"Yes you do!"
"Now wait a minute! I'm calling God. I already received thyroid cancer, eczema, obesity from my dad's side, fibromyalgia and I can't whistle. This is not FAIR."
"Life's not fair, babe. You tell your kids that all the time."
"I'll have to call you back. I'm still calling God."
So then I went to Guilt Trip Land. You're alive. Your son is not deployed. Your daughter's MS seems to be responding to treatment. Your baby daughter made it through brain surgery 4 years ago. Your husband is alive.
So I called the nurse back.
"I'm guessing I have to be on a diabetic diet now. Do you have the info or do I need to go to a dietician?"
"We have it. C'mon by and pick it up."
"Can you mail it? I'd like to stay in Denial Land a little longer..."
"We'll see you in an hour."
I picked it up.
I looked at it and it was total Greek.
I walked in and handed it to my husband and said, "Please figure this out. Just put the required food in front of me. I can't deal with this now. My disability was just denied AGAIN and they are 16 months backlogged with the court it has to go to next, I have to see the oncologist next week to see if I'm still in remission and my fibro is hurting bigtime."
Being my sweet husband, he took it over.
I sat down and begin to think.
And suddenly I was overcome with the OCD Monster.
I HAVE to have a glucometer and check my blood sugar 429 times a day.
I need to eat out of measuring cups and measuring spoons to make sure I don't eat one iota over the limit.
And on and on and on.
Then I figured out that my cancer had metastasized to my pancreas and that's why everything was screwed up and come Thursday I would know that before the oncologist told me.
I'm back in the saddle again.
The next day I had an apt. to see our PA. She is phenomenal.
She came in and said, "How's life?" to which I said, "IT BLOWS CHUNKS!"
So we talked and then I told her all my husband's problems who was waiting for her in the next room and I left.
She's totally fair.
Not only did she check him out and get back to me before we left but told him I only needed to take my blood sugar when I awoke before eating and eventually I would calm down and no, I could eat on a plate instead of out of a measuring cup.
Thursday I saw the oncologist.
I was still in remission!
So I said, "That makes 7 years so it's been great, have a nice life, I'm done with this."
He said, "Not so fast Trigger. You will have to do this until your dying day. There have been many of my patients with thyroid cancer who have gone out of remission after 7 years. We continue to check every November and hope for the best. I'm not thrilled you now have Type 2 diabetes because that can exacerbate metastasis but we'll see what happens."
And happy holidays to you, too, Doc!
Seriously, I love my oncologist and his nurse and while I was waiting in the waiting room, a patient achieved a remission and got to ring the big bell in the waiting room. Everyone clapped and cheered. She cried as well as her family. The nurse took their picture. She's free until her 6 month recheck. If that doesn't make you thank your lucky stars, nothing will.
And as the song says, "Life's about changes, nothing ever stays the same." God bless you Trisha Yearwood.
So Friday Michael and I journeyed south and saw Cade in his first grade Thanksgiving play. He pulled the shy routine, couldn't remember his line or his name but he made a cute Indian. We visited Michael's grandmother who will always be my MIL and Michael shut her garage windows for her. She may be almost 5 feet tall. She has health probs but has a strong faith in God. I thought I did, too. So enough of the diabetes nonsense. Eat the food, do the exercise, take the med, etc.
Michael and I got home at suppertime.
I walked into the living room and a box was in my recliner.
I knew what it was.
Denial, I need you one more time.
Just not ready to deal with a glucometer today.
But I will be learning the ropes tonight and will do my first test tomorrow.
If it is still high, it will probably flip my witch switch.
But still I will carry on because there are kids and adults with Type 1 and adults with Type 2 who are far worse off than I.
If they can do it, so can I.
It just takes believing.
I'm all open for suggestions.
Don't EVER stop believing!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will have a houseful which includes 3 future grandchildren and a future son-in-law, all my kids, my BFF and family and my husband.
I have all I need.